The Strength of a Woman.....

I am a woman...least I was the last time I checked. I gave birth five time, think pedicures can be better than sex, and my eyes roll back in my head and I groan when I eat dark chocolate. I qualify.

So ladies, you will pardon me if I say this bluntly; what the hell is wrong with you?

Let me give a little detail to why I ask this question...and really why I want an answer. A little movement began back in the late 1890s to give women some amount of equality. We got the right to vote. That was huge. To own property. Another biggy. Then we entered the work force as more than servants, teachers, nurses and nuns.

Since that time we have gained ground. Then we even found we had the right to say to male bosses..."Hey you don't have a right to touch my ass" or to force us to sleep with them for promotions or just to keep our jobs.

And that was a huge step forward.

Then something awful happened. That guy..you know the one...who leered at us...and our breasts as he said, "Don't you look pretty today" and would lick his lips? That guy? Yeah, we sidelined him, and basically shot the nice guy in friendly fire.

Remember him? The guy who has a wife. Or a girlfriend. Or "life partner" or maybe is just single. It doesn't matter. Ladies, you know that guy. He is nice. And when he says, "You look nice today." It means nothing more than, Hey-you-look-well-groomed-and-put-together. And you know it doesn't mean, "I'd like to tap that."

He may be the guy who hugs people. I know this guy. I actually like this guy. He is just friendly. Affectionate in the same way my dad, eleven year old son and dog are affectionate. Not to grab ass, but just because they are joyful people who emote through touch.

And I know you know the difference ladies. I know you know....because I know. In the same way you don't freak out when your grandfather hugs you, but you know the feeling when someone else hugs you and is looking for more. We know. AND the only time we get confused is when we are emotionally invested and would like there to be more. That is usually the only time our radar is off.

Then I hear of someone, somewhere decides that, for whatever reason, they are going to file a case of sexual harassment. They do it to get back at a company. At not getting that promotion, because they feel like maybe they have been slighted: that is why these women do it. Because all of a sudden they think that some little inkling that has struck them in the last fifteen minutes is worth destroying what generations of women have worked for.

In this particular case that I just recently heard of, someone was slighted, and not by the nice guy. They thought they were going to advance in their career, and when they did not, they decided to take a different path. A vindictive path. One that, rather than being based in truth, is based in resentment, anger and retaliation.

Because we know that will move us forward in our careers, now don't we ladies?

I am angry with my sex right now. Because when one woman does this sort of crap, it sets us all back. It makes us all look like idiots.

Think of it this way, ladies...what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if the manager was female, mothering? What if the complainer was younger and male? Now, I am sure there are people who will come back and want to argue about that "Cougar" in the office. But that is the exception and not the norm. What we are talking about is women who have cried wolf far too many times to get someone in trouble for one reason or another.

And here is the thing...if you ever have a sexual harassment suit filed against you, it sticks with you. Every time you apply for another job. Every time you go for a promotion. Every. Single. Time. Even if you are cleared of the charge, it still shows that there was a filing.

So think long and hard ladies...because when you do that filing you may feel self satisfied, like you have gotten your vengeance, you are costing all of us. You are costing that man a portion of his career. You are costing women what they have worked so hard for.

This is not to say that women should never file a case. I realize there are still times when such cases needed to be filed. But one needs to make sure they have documented, spoken up, covered their bases and that the issue still exists.


In my own life I have had several times when a boss has made advances. But in each case I chose not to file as it happened one time. It was isolated and I made my feelings known.

In the end women will continue to do stupid things like these and most men and a good sum of the women will despise them for not understanding what is at risk every time they gamble with our rights.

We are women, not pawns. We need to stop acting like them.