Lesson on "Failure"

I recently participated in something big.

It was an adventure. Something that most of us would think, "Gosh that would be fun! And I bet I could do it" but rarely do it.

I went to an open casting call for MasterChef. I went with the knowledge that there were thousands applying across the country. I went with the knowledge that my chances ranged somewhere between slim and none. And I went because, well...what did I have to lose?

It wasn't money, because all they asked you to bring was a dish that they judges could taste. I lived close enough that the gas was really only about $30. So really there was nothing in the long run to be lost.

And there was a lot to be gained. There were possibilities. I could win. I could win $250,000. That is a lot of money...a lot. I could publish my own cookbook. I could spend 6 weeks on a television show doing something I love. And I could gain perspective from people other than family and friends of what my food really tasted like.

I made it to the third round of selections. I am on a call back list, but chances are they will not call me. They said it happens all the time. But as I listened to the names they called I knew two of them were right....I stood between both of them...one was a girl, she was around 5'7", she had legs that started right under her chin, blond hair that was perfect and a face that was gorgeous. She probably weighed 98 pounds...soaking wet...holding a brick. And her name was Jessica. Oh hell, who am I kidding? I would have switched teams for this girl. I would have expected that she worked in retail, or was a secretary, or possibly even a teacher or a lawyer.

No....as television want...television gets....no one...no. one. would ever guess this girls job. She is a farmer. And as every producer sees this glamazon suddenly in overalls and galoshes and dollar signs in front of his eyes I sort of knew..."Yeah...she is sooooo on this show. They are insane if they pass this one up."

And I got to go after her. Lovely. So then I spoke with the producers and told them about me...just a computer nerd. Mom to five. No glamazon-farmer here.

And so the next guy? He is a metal head, loves to cook with SPAM...his job title? He is a professional puppeteer. I am pretty far down the coolness chart at this point. And I know. I know at this point I have made it as far as I am going to.

And so...what what did I come away with? As I walked away from the auditions I felt like this mark of failure was on me. I had failed. I didn't make it on the show. I didn't get to compete. I suck.

But on the way home I really began to self analyze...what really is failure? Dictionary.com defines failure as "an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success" In the end I suppose that would depend on what you would define as success....and perhaps deeper than that, how you measure it.

Now I am not one of those people that believes every single child should get an award just for showing up to the race. Success should be shown by marked improvement. Relying again upon Dictionary.com, they define success as "the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors." In other words, when you have reached a better outcome, you quit.

Looking back, I think that I did not fail. What I did was accomplish something I set out to do. I gained feedback from people other than my family than friends. I did really well. In the scoring I scored 4.5 and 5 out of 5 on my dish on all levels. I also had the puppeteer propose to me after he tasted my chai whipped cream...but that is another story.....

I believe that what I gained was a perspective. I know what it is like to go to an open casting call now. It is incredible exciting...until they make stand outside for 45 minutes to yell at a camera and scream "I AM!" when asked who is the next MasterChef?

All in all, I had fun. Even with the thoughts of what it would be like to be on a TV show. And it was an adventure. My failure? Not wearing warm enough shoes.

So look real close in the Chicago crowd...see that shivering girl with the hair blowing in her face in the first three episodes? Yep..that is me! I made it to the big time.