Christmas Traditions

I grew up in a family that had tradition out the wazoo. We had a tradition for just about everything. From Thanksgiving day, and watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, football and just being with family, to the day after Christmas...we had traditions that followed us all throughout the month.

But I will never forget when I first got married. I wanted to make sure that my husband's family was well represented. That he did not feel like there were only my traditions and none of his...although, of course my family traditions were better.

So our discussion went something like this:

Me: "Hon...I want to make sure we do things that your family has always done too...what are your family traditions."

**long pause**

Him: "uh well, I am not sure."

Me: "Well...I mean, how can you not be sure? There has to be things you did every single year. What were those things? We can do those things."

Him: "Well, see that is just it...we really never had any."

Me: "Any what?"

Him: "Traditions"

Me: "How is that possible?"

Him: "Uhm...Well, we just never did."

Me: "Never did what?"

Him: "Anything traditional."

Me: "Nothing?"

Him: "Not that I recall."

Me: "No tree decorating? No Stockings? No caroling? No cookie baking? No....nothing???"

Him: "We watched my sister decorate the tree sometimes."

Me: "No Charlie Brown Christmas? No wrapping presents? No Christmas cards? No looking at lights in the neighborhood? Really?"

Him: "Really...nothing."

About this time he would remind me that I needed to blink and close my mouth as I stood with it agape. It wasn't that his family didn't have a tree, stockings, presents, turkey dinners, and so on...it was just that certain people had certain jobs and the family was not involved. I was gobsmacked.

Twenty-two years and five children have past since that conversation. We have invested ourselves into many family traditions. And I think everyone is the richer for them. At some point I have heard some moans...and some groans...but everyone usually laughs and participates. Typically they will even remind me if a tradition has been forgotten, which means that while they tease and moan and groan, deep inside, they love that we have things that they can count on.

And I think those are the things that, as we grow up, move away and start our own families are what we pull to ourselves to comfort us and make us feel as if we are with our loved ones once again.

My son is now serving in the United States Army as a combat medic. I am so very proud of him. I spoke with him on Thanksgiving Day and it warmed my heart to hear him say that he had a nice Thanksgiving meal, but it wasn't the meal that I always made....the food he was use to and he missed his apple pie. You see, we have a tradition in our family that every single person chooses their favorite dessert and I

make it for them. I have made up to fifteen desserts, but this

year I only made seven. And an apple pie was not among the dishes. That is Joseph's chosen dessert every single year. And

he missed it this Thanksgiving. He also said that he woke up and watched Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade....I knew deep inside that he, even by himself, was carrying on a tradition that was part of our family.

And that is what these traditions do...they start off small, step by step and become the seams of a family quilt. They are part of a larger picture, part of what it means to be a family. Part of what it means to belong.

And belonging is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world.