The Case of the World War II Monument and Me

So I have a story to tell...It all began rather innocently. No, really...I had good intentions. I always do.

I had planned to visit a friend who lives in Baltimore, Maryland. The plan was since I was homeschooling at the time, and so was she, we would use this wonderful time of being together to educate our children and take them into Washington D.C.

It was a beautiful plan. She had three children. I had four, we both felt that we could spend the day seeing some wonderful historic things, expounding as we went on the freedoms of this country, the bravery of the men, and the wonders of a country just being founded.

Their little minds would absorb and soak up all this information. They would ask intuitive, thoughtful questions. They would grasp the wonder of it all in just a few hours and praise us for bringing them to the nations capital to see those bits of history.

That was the plan. We were going to go to the Smithsonian to view the First Ladies Dresses (for the girls of the group) and also to the pop culture era display to see some of the thing in that just for fun.
Then it was off to view the Declaration of Independence. Once their minds had absorbed being in the presence of that document, it was off to the Washington Monument and then to the brand new World War II Monument.

It was a busy day...but we knew their excitement would rise to meet ours. Right? They were little vessel just aching to be filled with knowledge and here we were providing them with an abundance of it! It was the perfect plan.

It started at the train. We decided taking the train into town made sense since parking would have cost a fortune. Once there, buying passes for two adults, two pre-teens, and five small children proved to be more difficult than we had imagined. It was a simple kiosk. You insert your money choose you ticket and then it pops it out and your change and your leave. Simple. Well...until you factor in...do you want more than one stop? What are the ages of your children? Do you plan on returning? Before or after 5PM? What is your state of residence? Date of your last tetanus shot? Credit Score from three reporting agencies? Great-Grandmother's Uncle's Mother's Maiden name?
We turned around at one point and there was a line behind us of about twelve cranky people. Our kids were already running around and we were staring blankly at the kiosk. Yep...this was going to be a great day.
Finally, a nice lady who worked for the trains came over and helped us. Thank god. We would still be standing there.
Once we were finally on the train, it was just a quick 30 minute ride into town. Thirty minutes to an adult is quick. 30 minutes to a child is a television show. A recess. It was an eternity. It was like trapping kittens on lazy susan. They were everywhere. We would no sooner get one seated then we would be chasing down two more.

Yep..this was going to be the perfect day.

We finally arrived in D.C. Yeah! We had everyone and everything we needed. Off we went to walk the three blocks to the Smithsonian. Three blocks. It was at block two.

On the second block of our walk it began..."Are we there yet?" "How much farther?" "I'm hungry." "I gotta go pee."

When we finally made it to the Smithsonian I was beginning to think that maybe I had bit off more than I could chew. We herded the girls into see the dresses..forcing the boys to just walk along with us. Next thing we know the boys are standing around dancing "look at me...I am a silly girl...look at my dress" and then they would break down in fits of laughter.

The Declaration was next and we had to wait in line for at least 30 minutes. This is not a good combination when you are outnumber 2:7 by children. We were grasping for sanity when we finally made it up to view the Declaration. I will never forget as I stood there...just a bit misty eyed thinking of those men who signed that piece of paper and what it meant...to them..their families, their businesses....their way of life when my oldest son says, "It just a sheet of paper. We waited in line to see a sheet of paper?"

Yes..that's my boy. Bet you are wishing you had one just like him. Well...tough. He is all mine.

We began to move on. Next was the Washington Monument. Someone probably should have told me it was closed. That would have been good to know. So on we trekked to the World War II Monument that had just opened.

Did I mention that on a map these things look really close together but when you are walking, trailing 7 ducklings behind it is realllllllllly far. I mean like a 1.8 miles, but it seems longer when the kids are looking at taxis parked on the side of the road offering rides.

We finally make it...and the kids are hot and sweaty because the humidity is up around 3,000% and it is about 98 degrees. And we see the reflecting pool. Oh it is a thing of beauty. Fountains spraying water into the air force a light mist across our hot and sweaty faces. It was like an oasis waiting just for us.

But all our children see? Way at the end on the other side. Toddlers are wadding in the pool. They are up to their belly buttons wearing swimmies and splashing around. Feeding ducks and looking like healthy little sun soaked babies just as cool as they can be.

Our children...they look from the toddlers to us, back to the toddlers, back to us and they raise their little hands and point. "Please....Please can we wade?"

At this point we look around and see dozen of adults with their shoes off and their feet soaking in the pool. Soaking feet sounds really, pretty damn good right about now.

I should mention at this point, I think overall we typically are sensible adults who make good choices when it comes to how our children behave. We do not allow them to run around, we choose to try and make them into productive members of society.

But somehow, during this moment, I think we lost our minds. Because we said yes..."Yes, you may wade. BUT, only up to you knees."

Yep...that was when that crucial mistake happened. We said yes. It seemed harmless. Let the little tykes wade into the water, soak their little feet, have a little fun..what could possibly go wrong?

Now you know anytime a parent asks that question they are met with a cosmic chuckle. God, in his infinite wisdom has just been challenged to a throw down and it is on. Your brain housing group could not possibly conceive of what is about to come at you. Not in a million years. Yep...you're in for it now.

No sooner had our children stripped off shoes, rolled up pants and waded in, and we were just settled down to watch our children wade around for a few minutes when one of them..the middle child of my friend, went feet over head under the water.

You saw that coming, didn't you?

You're a better person than me...I was clueless. Now my friend and I both looked at each other...yes, my friends, fear entered our eyes at this point. As we looked back in that split second...every child froze, eyes riveted on the now soaking wet child who was standing there crying.

The eldest child turned to us...now taking the lead for all of the kids...it was now us against them and said, "Hey..that's not fair...she got to get totally wet!"

Yes, folks. This is that point where there is no winning. It is the parent's Kobayashi Maru. And we replied with, "Yes, but she fell. It was an accident."

Within 30 seconds every single child had had the same accident. It was like watching Whack-A-Mole as every one of them disappeared and then reappeared again.

We had lost all control.

Now as a parent I like to say you have two choices at this point and it marks what kind of parent you truly are. You can either scream and punish them....or you can take their picture.

We opted for the latter.

And soon we were laughing so hard we could hardly sit still. Kids were falling all over themselves. Laughing, jumping, splashing...it was pandemonium. And we were totally insane. We snapped away and laughed...it was about all we could do.

After a couple of minutes we heard an "ahem" and noticed we were now seated in the shadow of a very, very tall, very serious park ranger.

You know where this is headed don't you?

He quietly says to us, "Ladies, this is not a pubic pool."

We looked up at him and wanted to explain...No really we are homeschooling parents with very well behaved children...our kids excel at understanding history and are honored to be here....

All we said was, "Yes, sir...we will be gone in just a quick second."

Three minutes later we had pulled crying kids out of the reflecting pool and were headed back out of the monument.

It was at this moment when the heavens decided to open and pour down rain so hard that there was not one person at that monument who was not as wet as we were.

We made our way back to the suburbs and recounted our day over some wine and dry clothes.

Humiliation may just be good for the soul.

Turns out, my friend called me two weeks after I visited. Seems there were some signs that went up at the monument after we were there.

Shopping Nirvana

God knows I am not one of those girls who gets her fulfillment out of buying things. I am rather frugal when it comes to most things and will make do with a lot of stuff before just grabbing new. For example...I need a new food processor. I have been eyeballing one for the last year. I have a food processor. It is missing parts...shoots out food when I try to use it and is 22 years old...I know the age because it was a wedding present. My husband actually decided to get me one for my birthday. My birthday was back in February. He gave me the gift cards and told me to scoot along and to buy the food processor of my dreams. I have still not bought it. I am still waiting for the perfect time.

I am looking for that Shopping Nirvana moment. When buying it matches my mood and I want to race home and make bread crumbs and pie crust and pureed soups till my heart's content. And I want it to be on sale.

See...those are words that will spark a flame in my heart...cause my breath to quicken...and my pupils to dialate. It is all about getting exactly what you want...and getting it cheaper than everyone else did.

Case in point. About two years ago I began a search. I was looking for a pair of "wide legged trouser jeans". I knew exactly what I wanted. EXACTLY. They had to be true wide legged jeans...not flared or boot cut. They had to be trouser jeans...meaning lighter weight material...but not flimsy.

The hunt was on. About once a month I would stroll through a few stores and look on a few racks...look on sales racks...just keeping my eyes open and my options even wider still.

It took a year...but it was incredible...I was in a store...I needed a pair of jeans for work on Fridays...so I hunted around for something that was somewhat flattering....finally finding something that would suffice and was not gruesome in my opinion, I was getting ready to check out. They were about $40, and I would still have to go to a tailor to have them taken in to fit correctly. When as I was getting ready to check out I spy the clearance rack.

I ALWAYS look at the clearance rack...you would not believe some of the great finds I have gotten from the clerance rack...so off I go and I am thumbing through some pretty ugly stuff...when...there it is. In its perfect state. I dare not breath...it must be in the wrong spot or something.

I pull them out and check the leg...as wide at the knee as they are at the hem...true "wide legged" pants. Oh my....Nice material...with a pinstripe. Oh...my.

So I dump everything I have in my arms and I run back to the dressing room to try them on. All the clerk heard from me was a small stiffled squeek.

"Are you all right in there, dear?" she asked.

Oh.

My.

God.

They are perfect...They fit in the waist...they are long enough....They look good from the front.....
I ran out of the dressing room to the three-way mirror and turn around to view my backside.

ohmygod.

It is like they were made for me. I am in heaven...I could care less at this point how much they cost...I would pay a hundred...a thousand...a million!

Ok...probably not more than $70...but for me that is a lot. I look down at the tag to see the price and...

OHMYGOD!

They are $8.00. Yes, folks, eight...onetwothreefourfivesixsevenEIGHT dollars.

I grabbed my purse and literally ran for the check out counter. I did NOT take off those jeans. I got up to the counter and had them cut the tag off for me. I paid in cash. I walked out wearing the BEST jeans I have ever bought in my life.

That my friends is shopping nirvana....a place where not only do you find exactly what you want...exactly what you want...but you find it for an unbelievable price.

I walked on cloud nine for at least a week after that. I would wash those jeans and wear them...I wore them 4 times that week.....I considered sleeping in them. I still love them so much.

What I have learned from that experience...and other "shopping nirvana" moments are that buying something does not make us feel better, what makes us feel good is finding something that meets a criteria of making us look ridiculously good at a reasonable price. I will pay a lot of money for something if I think a) it is going to get a lot of wear or b) it is for more formal wear and I think that I can get enough wears out of it to bring the cost to under $10 a wear (the math work like this: cost/number of wears. So if something costs $100 and I wear it twice that makes the cost per wear $50. But if I wear it 20 times the cost per wear is $5)

I can say this much about those jeans...they are down the the less than pocket change per wear status.

There is also that willingness for the right moment. I have friends who do what they call "Catch and Release" shopping. I love this. They will pick up something, walk around with it, think about, touch it...and then put it back. They walk out without the item...with full intent of coming back to get it when, A) they have saved the money, B) the item goes on sale or C) they reach a point where the cost of the item(s) meets the desired need for it.

Since learning of their "Catch and Release" shopping, I have been known to walk around with a lot of things in my cart or arms that I have no intent of purchasing...but it gives me ownership for a little while...and that ownership period gives me time to digest the idea of how much money it costs, and how badly I want the item.

Basically, I am one of those people who does love to shop....however, perhaps I need more than just the "buy" to make me feel great about what I have found. There is a bit of the hunter and gatherer in me. I feel like I must find the best deal, it has to be perfect before I will want to just take the bait.

So show me a clearance rack...and I am yours for a song.

The Strength of a Woman.....

I am a woman...least I was the last time I checked. I gave birth five time, think pedicures can be better than sex, and my eyes roll back in my head and I groan when I eat dark chocolate. I qualify.

So ladies, you will pardon me if I say this bluntly; what the hell is wrong with you?

Let me give a little detail to why I ask this question...and really why I want an answer. A little movement began back in the late 1890s to give women some amount of equality. We got the right to vote. That was huge. To own property. Another biggy. Then we entered the work force as more than servants, teachers, nurses and nuns.

Since that time we have gained ground. Then we even found we had the right to say to male bosses..."Hey you don't have a right to touch my ass" or to force us to sleep with them for promotions or just to keep our jobs.

And that was a huge step forward.

Then something awful happened. That guy..you know the one...who leered at us...and our breasts as he said, "Don't you look pretty today" and would lick his lips? That guy? Yeah, we sidelined him, and basically shot the nice guy in friendly fire.

Remember him? The guy who has a wife. Or a girlfriend. Or "life partner" or maybe is just single. It doesn't matter. Ladies, you know that guy. He is nice. And when he says, "You look nice today." It means nothing more than, Hey-you-look-well-groomed-and-put-together. And you know it doesn't mean, "I'd like to tap that."

He may be the guy who hugs people. I know this guy. I actually like this guy. He is just friendly. Affectionate in the same way my dad, eleven year old son and dog are affectionate. Not to grab ass, but just because they are joyful people who emote through touch.

And I know you know the difference ladies. I know you know....because I know. In the same way you don't freak out when your grandfather hugs you, but you know the feeling when someone else hugs you and is looking for more. We know. AND the only time we get confused is when we are emotionally invested and would like there to be more. That is usually the only time our radar is off.

Then I hear of someone, somewhere decides that, for whatever reason, they are going to file a case of sexual harassment. They do it to get back at a company. At not getting that promotion, because they feel like maybe they have been slighted: that is why these women do it. Because all of a sudden they think that some little inkling that has struck them in the last fifteen minutes is worth destroying what generations of women have worked for.

In this particular case that I just recently heard of, someone was slighted, and not by the nice guy. They thought they were going to advance in their career, and when they did not, they decided to take a different path. A vindictive path. One that, rather than being based in truth, is based in resentment, anger and retaliation.

Because we know that will move us forward in our careers, now don't we ladies?

I am angry with my sex right now. Because when one woman does this sort of crap, it sets us all back. It makes us all look like idiots.

Think of it this way, ladies...what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if the manager was female, mothering? What if the complainer was younger and male? Now, I am sure there are people who will come back and want to argue about that "Cougar" in the office. But that is the exception and not the norm. What we are talking about is women who have cried wolf far too many times to get someone in trouble for one reason or another.

And here is the thing...if you ever have a sexual harassment suit filed against you, it sticks with you. Every time you apply for another job. Every time you go for a promotion. Every. Single. Time. Even if you are cleared of the charge, it still shows that there was a filing.

So think long and hard ladies...because when you do that filing you may feel self satisfied, like you have gotten your vengeance, you are costing all of us. You are costing that man a portion of his career. You are costing women what they have worked so hard for.

This is not to say that women should never file a case. I realize there are still times when such cases needed to be filed. But one needs to make sure they have documented, spoken up, covered their bases and that the issue still exists.


In my own life I have had several times when a boss has made advances. But in each case I chose not to file as it happened one time. It was isolated and I made my feelings known.

In the end women will continue to do stupid things like these and most men and a good sum of the women will despise them for not understanding what is at risk every time they gamble with our rights.

We are women, not pawns. We need to stop acting like them.

Boxing With God

Since it is not my time to update my goals...I need not feel guilty about my struggles I am about to post.

Yes...struggles.

This past week, actually the past several weeks have taken their toll on me and I am weary. Perhaps it is just being away from home for eight weeks...perhaps it is just the stress of what I hope to accomplish over the next year with my life.

Perhaps it is a lot of things...but here it is just wee bit past the middle of March...and I am burned up....burned out, hanging on by a thread.

I have found myself thinking more and more on Job. This man who had so much and who lost so much. This is a man who not just rich...but uber-rich...like Bill Gates kind of rich. He had 10 kids, seven boys and three girls. They were so rich that none of the kids ever worked...they just went from house to house and partied every single day. Job just worried that they sinned..so he stayed home with all of his money and prayed for them.

Then one day, he looses his cattle, he looses his 7,000 sheep, he looses his 3,000 camels (they smell anyway...might have been a godsend) and all his children are killed in a freak accident.

All because God decideds to let Satan have a little fun. To poke at Job, as it were. Then, as if it can't get any worse, Satan says..."Hey, the only reason he isn't cursing you is because he is in a healthy body." God says..."Go...mess with him some more."

Ahh, to be Satan's play thing. So Job gets boils. Everywhere...and it isn't just boils...they are painful, pus filled, oozing, smelly boils. Nice.

Finally, his wife suggest he just get it over with...look...it is obvious that you have done something to make God angry...so just curse him...die and get it over with...right?


And everyone likes to believe that Job praises God. Well..no.

Or that his three crappy friends come over and dump on him, tell him he is sinful...and then God dumps on them. Right? No.


Yes, his three friends come over. Yes, they sit there and tell him he is sinful for having incurred the wrath of God to this magnatude, so obiously he should just repent and be done with it.

And what does Job do? What does this righteous man, who has always been faithful to God, lost his family and all his posessions and is now covered in smelly boils...what does he do?

He argues with God.

He basically tells God, "Look...I have praised you...I have been righteous, I have done what you asked...and this...THIS...is how I am rewarded...really???"

It was a throwdown. God takes off his gloves for a while and dressed down Job. Job sort of realizes he has overstepped his bounds a bit and says his mea culpas and moves on.

Right? Well...no the story ends with Job being blessed beyond what he had before. Now he has 14,000 sheep and 6,000 camels (not so sure that was a blessing) and he is again blessed with children; seven boys and three girls (although he had to go through those teen aged years all over again) and he is SO wealthy this time he even gives the girls part of the inheirtenance.

It is the ever popular story of overcoming the ultimate loss. The ultimate bad day. And I have been having a lot of them lately. It seems like I have had a string of little bad day soldiers all just waiting with their artillary to click off days.

I thought maybe I needed some encouragement so I went to a large book store and I stood in the self-help section for about a half an hour looking at titles of books waiting for the one that said "Your life sucks right now, here are some practical things you can do to make it through the sucki-ness of it all and aim toward making it better"

Newsflash: That book hasn't been published yet.

And the sad part about the self-help books? I stood there looking at them and thought, "you know there is not a single one of these books that I would pay money for and could force myself to read." I was more drawn to books on dog training, growing herb gardens, cooking, painting, embroidery and a handful of other things. I was more interested in DOING something...going out and being part of creating something, being part of something, than I was in sitting around navel gazing.

I have poured out to my heart to God recently. I am a faithful person. I am a person who, for some odd reason, believes without doubt....it just never enters into my brain housing group. I aim toward righteousness. I rarely hit it...but I do desire it...I have learned to allow God to work in his time and to accept his will.


But right now I am angry with him. I still trust him. I still am faithful. And, as prideful as this may sound, I don't feel like I am acting in a sinful manner. I know I will get over it....eventually. But right now I feel like I was betrayed.

I feel like I was lead along and given false hope, when it wasn't really necessary. I prayed and asked God that if this was the path for me to please open the doors, but if it wasn't to please close them. They were being closed, gently, and I was being let down....then at the last minute, I had them fly wide open with information that changed everything...I was elated, flying high...probably much higher than I should have...and so very hopeful.

I ended up crashing so hard that the bruises and marks are painful wounds right now. God could have left that door shut, let me continue along that route. It would not have been as painful as having my hopes raised beyond anything they had been before.

And so I am boxing with God. I am arguing with him right now. In the long run I am imaging it will make me a better Christian...I know he knows what is best...but right now all I feel is very hurt.

In the end, this is what is called working out your faith in fear and trembling.

It is work, make no mistake of that.

Updated Goals....

Way back in January I had the goal that at the end of January I would update my goals....well, that didn't happen...and I don't think that once a month worked as well as I would like. Every two months is giving me more time to evaluate what I am going through and doing.





So here are the goals as I stated them in January:

1. Lose weight
2. Find a better job
3. Travel
4. Move with little or no drama
5. Fight less/stress less
6. Be more positive

And here are the actions I plan to take for each of those goals...for January 2011:

1. Lose 10 pounds. Begin walking 3 times a week.
2. Commit to spending 5 hours a week looking for a better job.
3. Save $25 a week from paycheck toward a trip.
4. Begin packing boxes now, purging items not needed or wanted now.
5. Choose my battles, do not give into fights with the kids.
6. List 4 things every day that are positive....things that you can be happy about.


One of the things that has changed for me is that I am now travelling Monday through Friday to another city for business. I am in a hotel all week long and then at home with my family for the weekends. This has brought about a different dynamic that I am having to incorporate. So here are the things that I have done to work towards my New Year's Resolutions:

1. Lose Weight: Living in the hotel I cook for one...as a result I have complete control over my diet for the first time in the last 22 years. I am working toward cooking for myself only healthy foods that I can living with..healthy, some small indulgences, but for the most part a mind set that doesn't allow anything processed, pre-made and very low on the carbs that have been processed....so carbs like potatoes, or corn, but in as close to their natural state. My tiny slow cooker and small blender come with me every week. Yes, I look weird moving into a hotel every week...bringing in groceries...but I take my lunch every day, I made dinner, I make breakfast...and I feel really good...not overly tired or worn out. As for the excercise...I will give it to you...I am in a hotel...there is a fitness center...but I am not one to work out in front of people..never have been...So, I need to figure a way around this obstacle.

2. Find a better job: I am on my third interview, currently with a large coporation. It is a job within my field...If I dare to breathe it outloud....it is my dream job. I believe I am very qualified for this positon. I also believe that it will meet all of my desires for what I was looking for in a career...and I think I will meet all of theirs...I truly believe I am what they are looking for...but I almost hope I don't put too much hope into this positon, because I want it so badly...I do not want to be in a position that not getting the job will cripple me. I need to examine my thought process about how I will handle this if I do not get this job...because I do still have a job...even if it is one I detest...but I am still employeed....and I need to remember that.

3. Travel: I planned on putting away 25 dollars toward travel, the downside I am facing is that the way my company has set up business travel is they are depositing money into my personal checking account. The issue has become that I do not want to move money to my savings with the business money flowing in and out. Since I am not spending money on myself currently, when all is said and done I should have an amount that I can move over to my savings account. So I am saving...just not in my account the way I had intended.

4. Move with little or no drama: We have taken the steps toward moving. We are looking at pre-approval, making sure our credit is in order..but to keep drama to a minimum we are moving somewhat slowly. I am taking care of things as they happen. I have also gathered quite a few boxes...as soon as I am home, the packing will begin. I would also like to wait till the seasons just change so I can pack all the winter clothes.

5. Fight less/Stress less: Obviously, being in a hotel...alone...I am fighting less. But I do have a higher stress level being "at work" all the time...and it is putting a straing on my home life. So, this is an unfortunate part of my resolutions...I am not making strides here. But I think if I work harder on the next resolution, I might change my perspective on this one.

6. Be more positive I have brought aspects of being positive into my life...and worked at doing so more often...but I am still struggling with doing it on a regular basis...I still find myself with complaints that roll off my tongue more easily than praise. I need to find a way to change that about myself. Not a Mary Sunshine...but someone who is just not as easily irritated.
Duck's back = Me / Water = Stress.

I would like to try and add another goal to my list.

Yes, it is already lengthy. Yes...I may fail if I start adding them left and right.

But I would like to add this one. I would like to try and get at least two posts up a month on my blog. I like doing this...and I miss when I cannot or do not get to this. So hopefully I will be back here in two weeks with another post.


Hopefully.

The Box

It became the catch phrase of the 90s. To think outside of the box. Apple Computers made a fortune using it. We felt like if we had an Apple computer...and now an iPad, iPhone and an iWhatisthenextcoolestthing, then you are way ahead of the pack...you are thinking outside of the box.

When in actuality you are thinking right inside the box..right where the industry would like you to be...wishing and hoping and wanting what they have to sell you. Those who truly did think outside the box, did so months ago when they conceptualized the idea for the next hottest thing that they could make the public drool over, the next must-have-it item.

When we go back and think about what causes us to want those thing, I think we must blame it on cereal.

Yes, I believe it is all the grain industry's fault. That is my line of thought anyway...and I am sticking with it.

See, I recall being a kid, around six, maybe seven. I was one of the first real generation that grew up with television..with the real Saturday morning cartoons. Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Speed Racer, Scooby Doo, Flintstones, Pink Panther and so on...and we watched with rapt attention.....we even watched the commercials.

And ahhh, those commercials...they were only for two things. Toys and cereal. We still lived in an age when toys were special; they were treats, they came at Christmas, on your birthday and when you saw your Grandparents. Otherwise, it was doing chores and saving nickles and dimes that got you that new toy.

So we were not as swayed by every toy commercial that came our way. Sure, closer to Christmas, man, we made our lists from those commercials and the Sears and Roebuck Christmas Catalog. However, in the day to day viewing...no, it was all about the cereal...and which one had the coolest toy of course was a matter of playground debate.

See cereal was affordable and sugar coated. It was the mom-approved, double-dipped, triple the amount of sugar an adult should consume in a week, candy bar in a box and it came with a toy. It was the first real commercialism that was marketed in children, and we bought it, hook, line, and hyperactive overloaded sinker.

WE HAD TO HAVE IT!!! The box of Capt'n Crunch that had the magnet set, the box of Vitamin King that you could send away for a set of coloring books, a stuffed Tony the Tiger...oh. my. god.....it was almost too much to take! We would go down the cereal isle with our mothers, usually just a few hours after seeing these commercials and not just beg, but sob for these boxes of cereal...we just had to have them or else we would die. Our friends would hate us. We would fail out of school. Become a hippy. It was the worst possible outcome if we did not have this particular cereal. Regardless if our mothers had a coupon for another cereal.

And we could hardly wait for breakfast the next morning. We usually would con our Dads into pouring out the box to find the prize at the bottom. I recall being devastated when trying to collect all of the Capt'n Crunch magnets and lacking just one...the one, that everyone else at school had. I had gone through three boxes of cereal trying to get that magnet without any luck and this was my fourth. To my utter devastation, my father pulled out yet another of the magnets I already had. I begged my mother to go back to the store and buy another box. Of course she said no. She told me she would get me more when I ate this box, when I finally confessed, "But I HATE Capt'n Crunch!"

And to be honest, I still do to this day. I have no idea what posessed me to think that those magnets would influence my life to this point. I wonder if I thought that they would still be on my fridge at this age?


And there it is, think about it. It all began with cereal in a box. We began to think we were cool, ahead of the game, thinking outside of the box...buy buying a box. The irony.


So the next time you stand there and think to yourself that you simply must have something...wonder to yourself, who put you in the box?

That which we aim to do....

Benjamin Franklin was quoted as saying, "By failing to prepare, we are preparing to fail." In all truth, at this time of year, we heartily set goals for ourselves that we, with the greatest intent, breating in the first fumes of a freshly birthed new year, hope to accomplish. Lose weight! Stop smoking! Exercise! Save money!

And yet what people have found is that as these goals are spouted, usually in a somewhat marinated stated, is that by the end of January 31 most have been given up on. Siting reasons like, "It's winter...you have to eat hearty in the winter and it is too cold to exercise." or "I am too poor after Christmas to save money." And on it goes...we justify the reasons we cannot do that which we want to do, but cannot bring ourselves to do.

The question is, why? Why do we fail? Worse yet...why does it lead us into a tailspin of resolving never to make resolutions again?

I have thought about this for a long time...I believe that the answer lies in the inner workings our gray matter. We do not think things through long before, nor do we plan things out. We do not believe we can fail, and worse yet, we do not forgive ourselves if we do, walking away from that which we desire because it was hard...it was actually going to require something of us...a struggle.

Thus this year, I have not only made resolutions, but I have made them with the idea that, they will be hard. That I will not only stumble, fall...but I will have to find something inside myself to pick myself back up and start over again.

I have made plans, I have made goals. I have the idea that with small baby steps to start, reviewed each month, and then possibly tracked to the next step, I may, indeed be successful. Yogi Berra, the great prophet, once said, "You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there." We fail to reach our goals because of lack of aim. If you have no direct aim, no bullseye, you will never reach your goal.


So here are my goals for the year of 2011:

1. Lose weight
2. Find a better job
3. Travel
4. Move with little or no drama
5. Fight less/stress less
6. Be more positive

And here are the actions I plan to take for each of those goals...for January 2011:

1. Lose 10 pounds. Begin walking 3 times a week.
2. Commit to spending 5 hours a week looking for a better job.
3. Save $25 a week from paycheck toward a trip.
4. Begin packing boxes now, purging items not needed or wanted now.
5. Choose my battles, do not give into fights with the kids.
6. List 4 things every day that are positive....things that you can be happy about.

At the end of January, I plan to revist the list and hopefully, I can say that I am moving forward. It is my plan to see each of these things become successfully integrate into my life. It is not my plan to become the Dali Lama, a supermodel, Heloise, and the CEO of Intel in a year. The Bible tells us that without a vision the people perish. This is my vision of 2011.

My goals are this: on December 31, 2011, I would like to be able to look back at the year and say that, I have accomplished my goals. I would like to weigh less than I do at this very moment. I would like to be in a job I do not abhore from my waking moments. I would like to be settled into another house with fewer things, more organized and not divorced over the situation. I would like to go somewhere on a vacation...anywhere would be fine. I would also like my relationship with those that matter most in my life to have improved. If, at the end of this year, I can say that those things are done...then I will be able to say that I have accomplished my 2011 New Years Resolutions.


And that, in itself, will be an amazing feat.