The Strength of a Woman.....

I am a woman...least I was the last time I checked. I gave birth five time, think pedicures can be better than sex, and my eyes roll back in my head and I groan when I eat dark chocolate. I qualify.

So ladies, you will pardon me if I say this bluntly; what the hell is wrong with you?

Let me give a little detail to why I ask this question...and really why I want an answer. A little movement began back in the late 1890s to give women some amount of equality. We got the right to vote. That was huge. To own property. Another biggy. Then we entered the work force as more than servants, teachers, nurses and nuns.

Since that time we have gained ground. Then we even found we had the right to say to male bosses..."Hey you don't have a right to touch my ass" or to force us to sleep with them for promotions or just to keep our jobs.

And that was a huge step forward.

Then something awful happened. That guy..you know the one...who leered at us...and our breasts as he said, "Don't you look pretty today" and would lick his lips? That guy? Yeah, we sidelined him, and basically shot the nice guy in friendly fire.

Remember him? The guy who has a wife. Or a girlfriend. Or "life partner" or maybe is just single. It doesn't matter. Ladies, you know that guy. He is nice. And when he says, "You look nice today." It means nothing more than, Hey-you-look-well-groomed-and-put-together. And you know it doesn't mean, "I'd like to tap that."

He may be the guy who hugs people. I know this guy. I actually like this guy. He is just friendly. Affectionate in the same way my dad, eleven year old son and dog are affectionate. Not to grab ass, but just because they are joyful people who emote through touch.

And I know you know the difference ladies. I know you know....because I know. In the same way you don't freak out when your grandfather hugs you, but you know the feeling when someone else hugs you and is looking for more. We know. AND the only time we get confused is when we are emotionally invested and would like there to be more. That is usually the only time our radar is off.

Then I hear of someone, somewhere decides that, for whatever reason, they are going to file a case of sexual harassment. They do it to get back at a company. At not getting that promotion, because they feel like maybe they have been slighted: that is why these women do it. Because all of a sudden they think that some little inkling that has struck them in the last fifteen minutes is worth destroying what generations of women have worked for.

In this particular case that I just recently heard of, someone was slighted, and not by the nice guy. They thought they were going to advance in their career, and when they did not, they decided to take a different path. A vindictive path. One that, rather than being based in truth, is based in resentment, anger and retaliation.

Because we know that will move us forward in our careers, now don't we ladies?

I am angry with my sex right now. Because when one woman does this sort of crap, it sets us all back. It makes us all look like idiots.

Think of it this way, ladies...what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if the manager was female, mothering? What if the complainer was younger and male? Now, I am sure there are people who will come back and want to argue about that "Cougar" in the office. But that is the exception and not the norm. What we are talking about is women who have cried wolf far too many times to get someone in trouble for one reason or another.

And here is the thing...if you ever have a sexual harassment suit filed against you, it sticks with you. Every time you apply for another job. Every time you go for a promotion. Every. Single. Time. Even if you are cleared of the charge, it still shows that there was a filing.

So think long and hard ladies...because when you do that filing you may feel self satisfied, like you have gotten your vengeance, you are costing all of us. You are costing that man a portion of his career. You are costing women what they have worked so hard for.

This is not to say that women should never file a case. I realize there are still times when such cases needed to be filed. But one needs to make sure they have documented, spoken up, covered their bases and that the issue still exists.


In my own life I have had several times when a boss has made advances. But in each case I chose not to file as it happened one time. It was isolated and I made my feelings known.

In the end women will continue to do stupid things like these and most men and a good sum of the women will despise them for not understanding what is at risk every time they gamble with our rights.

We are women, not pawns. We need to stop acting like them.

I have returned....and I am content

I know...I know...dayshift has not been kind to this poor, floundering little blog. But as blogs go, I figured it could hold its own while I kept my nose to the grindstone at work and learned the ropes. It has been a harrowing month..and one filled with uncertainty. I sit here waiting to hear my fate. As do several others who work for the state. When I say several I mean like 25,000....maybe more. We all are just a bit on edge.

So what does this mean to my mantra...how do I find excellence when in the face of possible lay offs. When so many around me are unemployed. When so many around me cannot find jobs. Even those I graduated with...so many of them are still looking for jobs and have not had a job yet. I have been so lucky..blessed...whatever you want to call it. I have not had to fear, or want. But I have also not been in a job where I have felt secure...really known that I have a good job and am really needed.

Maybe...just maybe, for me, that is what is needed. I mean, complacency breeds a certain angst. We begin to despise that which we called a blessing just a short time ago...until that day that it is threatened to be taken away. And then, all of a sudden, we think of how much we need, we want...we really are grateful for what we have.



I am a creature of comfort. A girly girl. I use to be the girl who camped, and hiked, and swam, and skied and did whatever was all outdoorsy. Now I am more drawn to things like a good apple martini and a pedicure. A nice dinner and a movie. Curling up by a great fire on a rainy day with a good book.

But one things has not changed..I am still very much content with the simplest of pleasures in life. Would I rather have a diamond bracelet or a good back rub? No contest...where are the massage oils? A great Saturday morning drinking coffee with friends or a designer purse? You can find me at Garden of Eatin...thanks.



So all in all I sit in a very content place. I am happy to be employed. I am grateful for this small blessing. It may be gone tomorrow...literally. But I have a very strong hope that it won't be.

But if it is...I will find something else. And I will be content.

Sleep, Breakfast and Sunshine

I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle! ~Alice, Alice in Wonderland.


I work the night shift. Well for at least a few more weeks, anyway. I am being moved over to the day shift...and not just any day shift..a M-F day shift position. Back to the norm. Get up, go to work, come home, make dinner, watch a little tv, go to bed...repeat. Who would have thought this would thrill me?

I am a creature of nature. I have habits that are not just set in stone...they are fossilized. I drink something before I sleep every single night...I chew on ice (I know...bad for my teeth. So I will die well hydrated with bad teeth...life is a trade off.) and I read my book. I fall asleep doing this every night.

Although I don't sleep through the night now. I sleep through the day. And my body, creature of habit that it is, can almost feel the sunshine through my skin...the slightest sounds wake me...and I can never fall back asleep. I eyelids perceive that there is light and my brain, hardwired now after years of training, says, "Get UP! It is time to work, to get things done...you're burning sunshine!" And I say, "No, I have only had two hours of sleep. I need to sleep." And my body, unwillingly finally falls into a restless sleep all the while struggling, straining, if you will to have me rise to normalcy.

My vampiric habits have thrown me into a world where I am not sure which way is up. Like Alice's long fall through the rabbit hole, I keep wondering if there is an end, if there is such a thing as time, if ever was.



"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~Alice, Alice in Wonderland

The change, they say, would do me good. Give me perspective and I would, eventually, adjust. But adjust to what? To being awake and mobile around the house, while everyone else sleeps? To have my normal days be out of sync with everyone else? To not knowing which meal to eat...or even when?

No...you don't adjust to night shift. You cope. And I have found a level at which I cope...found others who have the same schedule as I do so that I have someone to talk to and do not find myself so alone. They make it worthwhile, these other creatures of the night. It is for them, and only them that I will miss the night shift.

Otherwise, I bid it farewell like a gnawing blister on my foot. I will embrace spring again. I will see my children and be part of their lives, rather than rise when they come home only to take a couple of hours to wake up. (does one ever get over that groggy feeling on nights?) And I will be part of the human race again. Pushing my cart through Wal-Mart when there are actually other people there. Not always asking people what day it is. Eating meals in order of breakfast, then lunch, then dinner. Bliss!

The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he said was, "Why is a raven like a writing-desk?"
"Come, we shall have some fun now!" thought Alice. "I'm glad they've begun asking riddles. — I believe I can guess that," she added aloud.
"Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?" said the March Hare.
"Exactly so," said Alice.
"Then you should say what you mean," the March Hare went on.
"I do," Alice hastily replied; "at least--at least I mean what I say--that's the same thing, you know."
"Not the same thing a bit!" said the Hatter. "You might just as well say that 'I see what I eat' is the same thing as 'I eat what I see'!"
"You might just as well say," added the March Hare, "that 'I like what I get' is the same thing as 'I get what I like'!"
"You might just as well say," added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, "that 'I breathe when I sleep' is the same thing as 'I sleep when I breathe'!"
~Alice, The Mad Hatter, The March Hare and The Doormouse, Alice in Wonderland.




But I have learned many things during this trip "into that long goodnight." I do not take for granted a good night's sleep. I appreciate all the more what those who do the night shift go through, and I hope for them that it is either something that they want, or that it becomes something that they can handle. And for those who flip between days and nights...like nurses, you have all my praise and admiration. It was hard enough for me to make the adjustment to this on a day in and day out basis. I cannot imagine what you go through flipping around week after week and month after month. Torture.

And so, I will go through the next 6 weeks or so until I switch back over to days. I will savor the insanity of this mixed up, topsy-turvey world that I am in right now. Because now I know, I want to appreciate the small things that make life rich, like sleep, breakfast and sunshine.


If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? ~Alice, Alice in Wonderland.