The Box

It became the catch phrase of the 90s. To think outside of the box. Apple Computers made a fortune using it. We felt like if we had an Apple computer...and now an iPad, iPhone and an iWhatisthenextcoolestthing, then you are way ahead of the pack...you are thinking outside of the box.

When in actuality you are thinking right inside the box..right where the industry would like you to be...wishing and hoping and wanting what they have to sell you. Those who truly did think outside the box, did so months ago when they conceptualized the idea for the next hottest thing that they could make the public drool over, the next must-have-it item.

When we go back and think about what causes us to want those thing, I think we must blame it on cereal.

Yes, I believe it is all the grain industry's fault. That is my line of thought anyway...and I am sticking with it.

See, I recall being a kid, around six, maybe seven. I was one of the first real generation that grew up with television..with the real Saturday morning cartoons. Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Speed Racer, Scooby Doo, Flintstones, Pink Panther and so on...and we watched with rapt attention.....we even watched the commercials.

And ahhh, those commercials...they were only for two things. Toys and cereal. We still lived in an age when toys were special; they were treats, they came at Christmas, on your birthday and when you saw your Grandparents. Otherwise, it was doing chores and saving nickles and dimes that got you that new toy.

So we were not as swayed by every toy commercial that came our way. Sure, closer to Christmas, man, we made our lists from those commercials and the Sears and Roebuck Christmas Catalog. However, in the day to day viewing...no, it was all about the cereal...and which one had the coolest toy of course was a matter of playground debate.

See cereal was affordable and sugar coated. It was the mom-approved, double-dipped, triple the amount of sugar an adult should consume in a week, candy bar in a box and it came with a toy. It was the first real commercialism that was marketed in children, and we bought it, hook, line, and hyperactive overloaded sinker.

WE HAD TO HAVE IT!!! The box of Capt'n Crunch that had the magnet set, the box of Vitamin King that you could send away for a set of coloring books, a stuffed Tony the Tiger...oh. my. god.....it was almost too much to take! We would go down the cereal isle with our mothers, usually just a few hours after seeing these commercials and not just beg, but sob for these boxes of cereal...we just had to have them or else we would die. Our friends would hate us. We would fail out of school. Become a hippy. It was the worst possible outcome if we did not have this particular cereal. Regardless if our mothers had a coupon for another cereal.

And we could hardly wait for breakfast the next morning. We usually would con our Dads into pouring out the box to find the prize at the bottom. I recall being devastated when trying to collect all of the Capt'n Crunch magnets and lacking just one...the one, that everyone else at school had. I had gone through three boxes of cereal trying to get that magnet without any luck and this was my fourth. To my utter devastation, my father pulled out yet another of the magnets I already had. I begged my mother to go back to the store and buy another box. Of course she said no. She told me she would get me more when I ate this box, when I finally confessed, "But I HATE Capt'n Crunch!"

And to be honest, I still do to this day. I have no idea what posessed me to think that those magnets would influence my life to this point. I wonder if I thought that they would still be on my fridge at this age?


And there it is, think about it. It all began with cereal in a box. We began to think we were cool, ahead of the game, thinking outside of the box...buy buying a box. The irony.


So the next time you stand there and think to yourself that you simply must have something...wonder to yourself, who put you in the box?

Christmas Traditions

I grew up in a family that had tradition out the wazoo. We had a tradition for just about everything. From Thanksgiving day, and watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, football and just being with family, to the day after Christmas...we had traditions that followed us all throughout the month.

But I will never forget when I first got married. I wanted to make sure that my husband's family was well represented. That he did not feel like there were only my traditions and none of his...although, of course my family traditions were better.

So our discussion went something like this:

Me: "Hon...I want to make sure we do things that your family has always done too...what are your family traditions."

**long pause**

Him: "uh well, I am not sure."

Me: "Well...I mean, how can you not be sure? There has to be things you did every single year. What were those things? We can do those things."

Him: "Well, see that is just it...we really never had any."

Me: "Any what?"

Him: "Traditions"

Me: "How is that possible?"

Him: "Uhm...Well, we just never did."

Me: "Never did what?"

Him: "Anything traditional."

Me: "Nothing?"

Him: "Not that I recall."

Me: "No tree decorating? No Stockings? No caroling? No cookie baking? No....nothing???"

Him: "We watched my sister decorate the tree sometimes."

Me: "No Charlie Brown Christmas? No wrapping presents? No Christmas cards? No looking at lights in the neighborhood? Really?"

Him: "Really...nothing."

About this time he would remind me that I needed to blink and close my mouth as I stood with it agape. It wasn't that his family didn't have a tree, stockings, presents, turkey dinners, and so on...it was just that certain people had certain jobs and the family was not involved. I was gobsmacked.

Twenty-two years and five children have past since that conversation. We have invested ourselves into many family traditions. And I think everyone is the richer for them. At some point I have heard some moans...and some groans...but everyone usually laughs and participates. Typically they will even remind me if a tradition has been forgotten, which means that while they tease and moan and groan, deep inside, they love that we have things that they can count on.

And I think those are the things that, as we grow up, move away and start our own families are what we pull to ourselves to comfort us and make us feel as if we are with our loved ones once again.

My son is now serving in the United States Army as a combat medic. I am so very proud of him. I spoke with him on Thanksgiving Day and it warmed my heart to hear him say that he had a nice Thanksgiving meal, but it wasn't the meal that I always made....the food he was use to and he missed his apple pie. You see, we have a tradition in our family that every single person chooses their favorite dessert and I

make it for them. I have made up to fifteen desserts, but this

year I only made seven. And an apple pie was not among the dishes. That is Joseph's chosen dessert every single year. And

he missed it this Thanksgiving. He also said that he woke up and watched Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade....I knew deep inside that he, even by himself, was carrying on a tradition that was part of our family.

And that is what these traditions do...they start off small, step by step and become the seams of a family quilt. They are part of a larger picture, part of what it means to be a family. Part of what it means to belong.

And belonging is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world.

Lesson on "Failure"

I recently participated in something big.

It was an adventure. Something that most of us would think, "Gosh that would be fun! And I bet I could do it" but rarely do it.

I went to an open casting call for MasterChef. I went with the knowledge that there were thousands applying across the country. I went with the knowledge that my chances ranged somewhere between slim and none. And I went because, well...what did I have to lose?

It wasn't money, because all they asked you to bring was a dish that they judges could taste. I lived close enough that the gas was really only about $30. So really there was nothing in the long run to be lost.

And there was a lot to be gained. There were possibilities. I could win. I could win $250,000. That is a lot of money...a lot. I could publish my own cookbook. I could spend 6 weeks on a television show doing something I love. And I could gain perspective from people other than family and friends of what my food really tasted like.

I made it to the third round of selections. I am on a call back list, but chances are they will not call me. They said it happens all the time. But as I listened to the names they called I knew two of them were right....I stood between both of them...one was a girl, she was around 5'7", she had legs that started right under her chin, blond hair that was perfect and a face that was gorgeous. She probably weighed 98 pounds...soaking wet...holding a brick. And her name was Jessica. Oh hell, who am I kidding? I would have switched teams for this girl. I would have expected that she worked in retail, or was a secretary, or possibly even a teacher or a lawyer.

No....as television want...television gets....no one...no. one. would ever guess this girls job. She is a farmer. And as every producer sees this glamazon suddenly in overalls and galoshes and dollar signs in front of his eyes I sort of knew..."Yeah...she is sooooo on this show. They are insane if they pass this one up."

And I got to go after her. Lovely. So then I spoke with the producers and told them about me...just a computer nerd. Mom to five. No glamazon-farmer here.

And so the next guy? He is a metal head, loves to cook with SPAM...his job title? He is a professional puppeteer. I am pretty far down the coolness chart at this point. And I know. I know at this point I have made it as far as I am going to.

And so...what what did I come away with? As I walked away from the auditions I felt like this mark of failure was on me. I had failed. I didn't make it on the show. I didn't get to compete. I suck.

But on the way home I really began to self analyze...what really is failure? Dictionary.com defines failure as "an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success" In the end I suppose that would depend on what you would define as success....and perhaps deeper than that, how you measure it.

Now I am not one of those people that believes every single child should get an award just for showing up to the race. Success should be shown by marked improvement. Relying again upon Dictionary.com, they define success as "the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors." In other words, when you have reached a better outcome, you quit.

Looking back, I think that I did not fail. What I did was accomplish something I set out to do. I gained feedback from people other than my family than friends. I did really well. In the scoring I scored 4.5 and 5 out of 5 on my dish on all levels. I also had the puppeteer propose to me after he tasted my chai whipped cream...but that is another story.....

I believe that what I gained was a perspective. I know what it is like to go to an open casting call now. It is incredible exciting...until they make stand outside for 45 minutes to yell at a camera and scream "I AM!" when asked who is the next MasterChef?

All in all, I had fun. Even with the thoughts of what it would be like to be on a TV show. And it was an adventure. My failure? Not wearing warm enough shoes.

So look real close in the Chicago crowd...see that shivering girl with the hair blowing in her face in the first three episodes? Yep..that is me! I made it to the big time.

Let's All Go To The Movies....

Do you recall that wonderful scene in Annie where she goes to the movies and gets to see the Rockettes and a movie for about a quarter? Boy, those were the days, weren't they?

Now I get that movies have more effects, cost more to make, are more realistic and that costs more money. I do not begrudge the cost of a ticket these days. I understand that between $6-8 for a ticket is probably not all that much to ask when I am willing to pay $4 to rent it. Or $5 to download it.

However, there is a small nit I would like to pick. When I rent, when I download I have control over how many previews or commercials I have to be subjected to. Now, I like previews, mostly because I like knowing what movies are coming out so that I can look forward to seeing something different.

Then, there is the movie theater. I just came back from seeing Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince. These are movies that I pretty much go and see the day they are released. So typically, I need to be there early enough to get seats. Which means I am sitting for around 30 minutes before the movie.

Nowadays they actually run little conversation starter, little trivia tidbits.....and I find that interesting. I like this stuff, it beats the hell out of the dead screen we had to watch for years when I was growing up. But then it starts, first it is a commercial for Coke, then there is commercial for cars, Disney and several other commercials.

Commercials.

I figure for the $8 I am paying to sit in a cramped theater next to a chatty teenager and two more snogging in front of me I should, at the very least, be afforded the right to be commercial free for the duration.

This does not include the commercials for the upcoming movies. Now these different from the previews shown before the movie. They actually show commercials for movies that they show previews for before the movie.

Because, maybe the 15 second commercial isn't enough, and now you need the 1 minute preview to really entice you into going to see the movie.

If you cannot convince me to go in 15 seconds, newsflash...chances are, you aint gonna grab me in 1 minute....in fact, you may just convince me to NEVER watch your movie. So seeing your commercial 3 times and then your preview is a very good way to ensure you will never see my money.

I hasten to be one of those people who bemoans the good ol' days....however, I recall going to the movies and watching four, maybe five previews and then watching the movie. I was really happy with that. I looked forward to previews. I looked forward to movies...now, unless it is something I am dying to see, I dread the theater.

Not far from here there is a drive in theater. The kids and I have started going to drive ins about ten years ago. I had recalled with nostalgia the fun of packing up the car and watching the movie from your car...and falling asleep during the double feature. So every once in a while when the drive in is showing a movie that we all want to see, we pop the popcorn, grab the cold sodas, load up on some candy, chips and other things. Throw sleeping bags in the back of the van and a couple of lawn chairs and off we go to sit in the muggy summer air, sipping on ice cold pop, slapping at skeeters and watching a movie.


Sans commercials, of course.